My College Best-Friend Was a Guy. Then He Got Married. This Happened Next.

I remember the first day I met him on campus. I saw him at an event prior to actually meeting him up close, but it was his larger than life personality that drew me to him. I have a thing for “good people” and that he was.

Did you know Jay Z’s song cry was written about multiple women? This article is written about multiple men. 

He had the most amazing personality ever. I was the one he used to run and talk to when him and his girl was having problems… 

I used to say it would be ok, suggest lil’ nice things he should do. Ok, I’m done with the Usher reference. But really, he was my bestie! I’d talk with him about relationships, give advice, share recipes and food, talk about and share Sunday notes, plan and produce passion projects. Laugh, laugh, and laugh more. A true connection.

I always say you never really remember when you become “best friends” you don’t announce it… you just look up one day and realize how much they mean in your life. Tweet This

But here is the thing. This thing. He never asked me out. We never took it far. Never a kiss nor overly sensual hug. Straight platonic. I just kind of expected in the back of my mind that somehow we would never part. But yet somehow and in some way, I know we loved each other. Not necessarily in love. There is a difference.

So when I got the news that he was getting married. Not from him– but from elsewhere I immediately burst into tears. What is going on??? I thought to myself.

Why was I not the first to know he made this life choice? Were we not friends of a lifetime?! I guess I overestimated my significance in his life. Quick! I hopped on the phone with my mom, my sister, and best older consulting cousin to help me make sense of this! How is this going to work? I asked!

But I knew the inevitable: We would not be able to talk the way we had before. The long-winded late-night conversations came to a halt.  The sharing of ideas and dreams had to be stopped. The flowing facet of love, even though it was platonic was somehow turned off. I knew it had to somehow come to an end. It hurt my heart to let go of something like a friendship due to respect? Questions I had: Why did you not give me some sign that you were prepping for this? At LEAST a hint. Why was I hurting?

Was it because deep down I could…maybe just possibly see myself as a future Mrs.? Maybe it was because I actually was in love with him and didn’t realize it? Maybe I had lost my friend and soulmate? All I do know is that it hurt. A lot. It took me lots of time, tears, and pre-wedding texts to recover because, in the end, boundaries must be respected. 

 

HAVE YOU HAD A “BEST FRIEND” OF THE OPPOSITE SEX GET MARRIED, HOW DID YOU DEAL WITH IT? COMMENT BELOW!

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